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Chris Harper-Mercer
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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|---|---|
| Chris Harper-Mercer | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Birth: | Britfag 
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| Highscore | Killed 9, injured 7 |
| Top 25? | Nope. |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
Umpqua Community College in middle-of-nowhere Oregon was shot up on the morning of October 1st, 2015, by a beta male soy boy bald faggot named Chris Harper-Mercer
(AKA ironcross45, lithium_love), who managed an impressive 9:7 kill to injure ratio which included a headshot delivered through a window. Chris was an avid internet user who posted regularly on r9gay, marking the end of his existence with a "watch the news" thread and the legacy of an OP that delivered.
His skillful marksmanship is attributed to being a dedicated gamer and early reports indicate he was involved in #Gamergate as well as r/atheism. All of his victims were women. Chris is reported by witnesses to have had students stand up and declare whether or not they were Christian. If no they took a arrow to the knee, if yes they took a bullet to the head. /r9k/ was thrilled with Mercer's use of dried up memes in his killing spree, but those feelings were quickly drowned out by tfw no gf. Chris was the recipient of the 2015 Golden iPod.
Contents
Background[edit]
Chris identifies as a proud leprechaun and supporter of the IRA. Like every other school shooter ever, he was a fan of industrial music such as Nine Inch Nails and science fiction. He was also a manlet standing in at 5' 9'' and at the age of 26 has never had a girlfriend in his life. Fan of video games and hater of women, Chris was involved in the harassment of female gamers and would routinely send threats at the behest of Gamergate. Chris was also a nazi enthusiast, having paid over $200 for a replica SS Officer cap to wear while posting on 4chan.
Harper-Mercer was diagnosed with high-functioning autism due to being a Minecraft player. In addition to murdering nine students at his school, he was also the production assistant of the Centerstage Theatre at UCC, an organization which removed its entire facebook page to hide their association.
Politically, Chris was a Cuckservative and strongly opposed both alcohol and drugs, which makes this yet another right-wing domestic terrorist attack. His race is listed as "mixed" making him half-white/half-subhuman.
He is also a web-renown music critic.
Shooting[edit]
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After making his final post bidding farewell to his fellow loveless robots, Chris packed some handguns and a rifle and stormed his college science lab. His first shot was to the head of the teacher, through a window, letting everyone know he meant business. Chris then entered the classroom and told a few of the females to stand up and announce whether or not they were Christians. The ones who said they were Christians got shot in the face, the ones who were not were spared with a shot to the leg. He then proceeded to a second classroom and asked the question again, killing off a few more God fearing female gamers.
Chris could have won a 100% accuracy achievement but instead sacrificed it for ill-fated style points by posing the God question, poorly thought out since both the Columbine Shooters (allegedly) and Jeff Weise did the same thing, ultimately hurting his final score. His spree culminated with a shoot-out against the police that ended before it even began.
Graded Score[edit]
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kills: | 9/20 |
| Accuracy: | 20/20 56% kill rate (professional) |
| Style: | 10/20 "Do you believe in God" copycat. |
| Butthurt: | 15/20 No clear motive. |
| Bonus: | 20/20 OP that delivers. |
| Total score: 74/100 (C) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Police Force
Quotes[edit]
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Chris cash[edit]
Hey Christfags,
My name is Chris, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are slimy, thieving, Christians who spend every second of their day worshipping a false deity. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever practised incest? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because they have different beliefs, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than black magic.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shoot. I'm pretty much perfect. I'm a Wiccan, and support the IRA freedom fighters. What hobbies do you do, other than "spread the word of jeezus"? I also get straight A's, and have a cool myspace (I just praised Vester Flanagan; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who will die by my hand. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my gun.
Videos[edit]
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Chris 2.0[edit]
Only a week after Mr. Mercer's massacre, a gunman somewhere in Arizona got mad & shot up his fraternity. The shooter did not become An Hero and will now live the rest of his life getting fucked up the ass by bubba. Sadly, only 1 person died out of four people shot.
A similar incident nearly happened when some bix nood named Christian Pryor threatened to shoot up a university in some cow town in California. Rather than simple groid rage, the shooter threatened to carry out his attack due to betaness. Sadly the Pryor got fryer'd before being able to carry out his attack. Following his arrest he was transferred to another institution- Nigger University.
Gallery[edit]
First released picture.
Dating profile.
If only he had worn it to the shooting.
Looking for a penpal?
Last known selfie.
tfw no gf
Looking for a production assistant?
/pol/ is on the case.
Parodies[edit]
Chris left an immortal meme legacy in the wake of his bloodbath. Basically, people parody his infamous last words with the following formula:
Some of you ___ are pretty alright. Don't ___ tomorrow. So long, ___.
See Also[edit]
- Dylan Klebold, Jeff Weise - both shooters asked their victims "Do you believe in god?"
- School Shooting
- r9gay
- OP
- Ireland
- 卐
- Gamergate
- Elliot Rodger
- Cho Seung Hui
- Columbine
- Nods Respectfully Toward You - Long lost twin?
External Links[edit]
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Chris Harper-Mercer – Facebook account, now deleted. - Chris Harper-Mercer – Email address [email protected] links to this facebook sock.
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Chris Harper-Mercer – Friend of Tom. -
Dox - Mashable profile
- Official blog where Chris talks about other school shooters.
- Photobucket Chris Harper-Mercer loved his Minecraft.
- Archived /r9k/ watch the news thread.
- Born a Britfag.
- "I'm a nurse and also have an Aspergers kid."
- "Possibly an hero after all."
- Chris Harper-Mercer’s Blog ARCHIVE
- Dating profile ARCHIVE
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Chris Harper-Mercer is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
| Featured article October 3 & 4, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Ted Cruz |
Chris Harper-Mercer | Succeeded by Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath |
